Lies I’ve learned about breastfeeding
9:57 PM
Before I became pregnant I always said I wouldn’t breastfeed. I didn’t really know many people who did it and I just felt weird about it. But pregnancy gives you vivid, emotional dreams, and I would have dreams about breastfeeding. That’s when I realized breastfeeding aligned with one of my dearest personal mantras: always take advantage of free food. You might think I’m kidding, but I’m so serious right now. It’s almost like a moral code for me.
I honestly don’t care what other people do. Breastfeed, bottle feed, do it in public, in private, under a cover, out in the open... none of it makes me uncomfortable or gives me an indication of what kind of parent you are. If you’re feeding your kid when he or she is hungry, you’re making the right choice. End of discussion.
Atticus doesn't care either. Do what you want, y'all.
However, as I was going through the process of learning how to breastfeed, I would sometimes have to confront some negativity or false information. Here are some lies I learned about breastfeeding:
Breasfeeding will come naturally. False. Breastfeeding was hard work at first. Maybe because I only knew a couple of people who breastfeed, but I looked up videos, articles, and other resources, and in the end I still saw a lactation consultant a few times. Apparently it wasn’t totally natural for Atticus either, because we used a shield for a few months to help him latch well and feed well.
If you’re doing it right, it won’t hurt. It hurts a lot at first. You have this area of sensitive skin that’s going to be suctioned to a hungry little vacuum mouth every two hours for more than fifteen minutes at a time. It takes time for you to desensitize to that new force. And even afterward, if you have to endure a “cluster feed” when the baby just wants to eat all the time, that can hurt, too. Imagine someone giving you a hickey on your inner arm skin for an hour. After a while, it’s just downright uncomfortable.
You don’t really ever need to supplement when you breastfeed. Well, sometimes you do. I had gestational diabetes and Atticus was born with low blood sugar, so it was really important to stabilize his blood sugar after birth. He had to eat regularly, and at first he wasn’t getting enough from me. We supplemented for the first few days to make sure he wasn’t starving.
You don’t need anything to help you breastfeed. Sike! You might need nothing, or you might need a ton of supplies. I used a shield, disposable breast pads, nursing bras and tanks, a pump, freezer bags, coolers, freezer packs, lanolin, gel pads, and a privacy cover. People with different lifestyles may get away with less, but as a mom working just one day away from home, I needed all of this.
You’ll lose weight really quickly and you’ll need an extra 500 calories to maintain your supply. This is probably true for a lot of women, but not for me. Atticus was exclusively breastfed until we introduced solids at 6 months and didn’t get milk until almost 12 months. I was watching my calories and eating about 1800 a day. After nine months I weighed myself for the first time since my postpartum checkup and I had lost... eight pounds. Basically, less than a pound a month. Dang.
Breastfed babies don’t sleep well. Not to brag, but Atticus started sleeping 8+ hours around three or four months. He ate every two hours during the day though, so that was a bit of a tradeoff. I know this isn't true for every baby, but don't let the supposed sleeplessness scare you off if you're considering trying.
Sleeping the night away. Also, so small.
It’s just weird after three months/six months/they get teeth/they start talking/they start walking/one year... It might be weird for someone else to nurse after these milestones, but if you, your baby, and your doctor are comfortable with it, do what works for you. Personally, I couldn’t see going past two years old to nurse a baby, and if you’re trying to force feed your breast to a child that’s unacceptable, but I’m not going to put a timeline on someone else’s parenting style.
Breasts are sexual. I know some people who will vehemently disagree with this and say that they’re only sexual because the media sexualizes them, but I totally disagree; breasts are sexually attractive. But how many other organs, appendages, and body parts do we have that serve multiple purposes? You use your mouth to breathe, eat, talk, whistle, kiss...the body multi-tasks and that’s one of the amazing things about humans.
Breastfeeding will make your kids perverts who are obsessed with breasts. I’m pretty sure that before the development of bottles and formula, not everyone was a sex demon. If it was good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for anyone who wants to try.
You should be comfortable breastfeeding anywhere, or You should only breastfeed in private. No to both. You should do what makes you comfortable. Don’t go out of your way to make someone feel awkward, and that includes yourself. If you need to breastfeed on a bench in the park open to the world, great. If you need to use a cover, do it. If you need a private room, go for it. One of my other mantras is don’t do anything that makes you uneasy. And remember that you’re the only one who decides what makes you uncomfortable when it comes to your body. Always.
Atticus is 17 months and hasn’t nursed for about a week now. It’s bittersweet. I feel like I don’t have to share my body with him anymore, but at the same time, he doesn’t need me to share anymore either. Sometimes parenthood is beautiful and painful at the same time, and this is one of those times for me.
It's funny how when I look at him I see all of these stages in one sweet, loud, stubborn face.
Anyone else have breastfeeding lies you had to endure? Or how about the opposite end-- any bottle feeders have a lie they’d like to debunk? Let me know in the comments and remember, if you’re feeding your kid, you’re doing it right!
2 comments
This cracks me up, as a mom of two breastfed babies, My first until 12 months my second till 10 months. I can relate to just about everything you wrote. Here's a little something to add. It does get better the second time around. Your less worried about sneaking away to hide while you breastfeed (me)... your not as sensitive after already having done it for a year...Your just overall more comfortable with it! I'm sure you will learn this on your next go round!!
ReplyDeleteAngela Lovelock
Good to know that it gets easier, and that I wasn't alone in these experiences! I think sometimes moms--especially new moms--try to prove they can do it all perfectly on the first try, and that's just too much pressure!
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