Why Baby 2.0 is not "too bad"
9:43 PM
Let me preface this post by saying I had a busy day today and I was already annoyed when all this crap went down. I’d been running around bank to bank trying to get paperwork (long story). It was hot and I was hungry. So, strike one.
I went in to yet another bank to get what I was looking for. As the bank teller printed off paperwork for me, she tried to make chit-chat.
He's really not a fan of small talk.
“Oh, when are you due?” Then, “Wow, are you sure you’re not having twins?!”
Strike two, my friend.
“Do you know what you’re having?” I told her yes, we were having a boy. Our second boy, in fact.
“Oh, that’s too bad.”
Cue record scratch and me whipping my head up from the paperwork I was looking over. I’m sure I looked pissed, because I was not happy.
“If you were having a girl, you could be done!”
“My husband and I are very happy to be having another son.” I may have said this a little too forcefully, because her chipper customer service smile dropped and she quickly got the rest of my paperwork and wished me a nice day.
Before I go on, I get that people don’t always know what to say to a pregnant woman. I don’t know why people can’t just say “Congratulations, I wish you the best!” or something generic, but whatever. Everyone commits a faux pas from time to time, and although I’m ranting on about it now, I don’t hold any ill will toward this lady. The bank was really busy, she was working the counter and drive-thru alone, and she apologized for the wait a ton of times. I’m sure she is a generally fine citizen.
But did you really just tell me that it was “too bad” that I was having a son?
Let me tell you a few things, bank teller. And while I’m at it, let me tell everyone a few things.
If this second child of mine were a girl, I might still want to have a third kid. Or fourth. Or tenth. It’s my choice. You don’t know how many kids I can afford (Okay, granted, she did have access to some of my financial information. Ten might be an unreasonable number). You don’t know how many kids I want. Maybe two little boys is my idea of the perfect family.
Another one of these little troublemakers running around? Sounds good to me.
Everyone has their own reasons for the number of kids they have; sometimes by their own choice, sometimes not. But if parents are taking care of their kids so that they are growing up happy and healthy, I don’t care how many they have. Do what you want. But please don’t try to project your ideas of the perfect family unit on me. You have no clue.
Also, dear bank teller, you have no idea what my journey has been like to have these two kids. As it happens, we have been very blessed in that we have not had to struggle. So far, we have had two relatively easy, healthy, quick pregnancies. We know how lucky we are. But what if we had struggled for a long time to get pregnant? What if it cost us lots of money, tears, frustration and time to get to this point? What if we had experienced deep and painful losses? I doubt anyone would say it was “too bad” that we were having another boy. You don’t know my story, so be careful.
And I have another child--if I have ten more children-- and they are all boys, I will be as happy as if I had one or five or twelve girls. Kids are all unique. They all have different quirks, vices, talents, and impressive qualities. I can share my love of music, theater, reading, bargain shopping, food, or animals with my sons. They might take to my interests, or they might not.
And the same can be said for girls. Sharing gender doesn’t mean that you share interests. Boys can bond with their mothers about lots of different things. I don’t need a daughter to feel like a complete parent, but if I ever do have one, I will be as happy that she is coming into my life as I have been for Atticus and Baby 2.0.
Will Baby 2.0 enjoy stickers like Atticus, or secretly loathe them like Mama?
Now, I know maybe I’m being a little harsh. It’s even possible that I’m a little hormonal--I’m not above saying that--thus quick to anger.
But I just want to stress again to everyone who reads this: I love that I’m pregnant again. I love that I’m having another boy. I love that so far he is healthy. I even love my gigantic twin-sized baby bump.
Never, ever tell me it's "too bad” that I'm having another son.
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